


Funhouse

by coachdad (catsnore)



Series: Spit Out Those Fake Plastic Teeth and Try Again, Damn It [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-06 06:03:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8737621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catsnore/pseuds/coachdad
Summary: Hitting it off with an honest-to-god vampire at a Halloween party was really not a big deal, and not even the most dangerous thing Keith had done. What happened later, though? That could definitely be classified as a Big Fucking Deal.





	1. Lay it on me, Dracula

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro gives Keith the Talk, and Keith remembers having a good time.

His whole life, Keith tried to be a good person. He wasn’t very social, but he wasn’t necessarily mean either, not to mention he was fiercely loyal. He cleaned up after himself (mostly) and tipped servers 25% every time he went out to eat. Admittedly, that wasn’t very often, but he did his part. He covered his mouth every time he coughed. There was even one time he stayed late to help some musical theater major practice for his audition after he found him crying in the back room. And he always, always stuck up for the little guy.

Somehow, despite all of these things, he must have picked up some pretty nasty karma along the way. Probably in high school, though he thought he was way past making up for that. Karma was the only explanation he could come up with for why Shiro had not only dragged him out of bed at 7 am _after a late night out_ , he was currently giving him The Talk. Keith rarely got The Talk, since he rarely showed any interest in romantic relationships, which was part of the reason he hated it so much. That being said, Shiro more than made up for that with other lectures.

Maybe that’s why Keith hated them. Shiro was just better at life than he was, and he couldn’t stand it.

The smell of coffee filled the air. Shiro was leaning against the counter, watching it drip while Keith squinted in the early morning light. Shiro had sat him at the table with a glass of orange juice to help him wake up. The apartment seemed so still after the party last night.  Keith was so out of it, he barely remembered the drive back.

“So I see you hit it off with Lance last night.” Shiro smiled warmly at him as he poured a gigantic cup of coffee for himself. He then proceeded to down half of it in one go, without any cream or sugar. Keith grimaced. He could not understand for the life of him how he took his coffee black. Or in general, really. Sure it smelled great, but was the taste worth it? Shiro paused for a moment, waiting for Keith’s input, before continuing.

“I was his TA for an online math course last semester. I think I told you about it. Calculus III?”

Oh _great_. Keith crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. He could see where this was going. Shiro would give him the dl on how he and Lance became friends, and the first impression he’d given him. By the expression on Shiro’s face, he didn’t hate the guy. At least that was good. The Talk was always worse whenever Keith made poor choices.

“He seemed like a smart kid.” _Kid,_ Shiro said about someone only four years his junior. It took everything Keith had in him not to roll his eyes. “He always talked on the discussion boards about how good he was at counting, and go on to email me asking for office hours after dark. And once he offered to come over and help me record my lectures,” he added with a laugh.

Keith didn't know which was more surprising; the fact that Lance had actually asked Shiro for help or the fact that a math class had a discussion board. What was there to discuss? He furrowed his eyebrows at Shiro, confused.

“I know what you’re thinking, and yes, the discussion board was incredibly helpful to the whole class.” Shiro was already pouring a second cup of coffee. The man was insatiable. “But I could never extend my hours late enough. Until one night he emailed me while I was still at the library, and I made the time.”

Keith wondered how long it was going to take him to get to the point. He knew Shiro would end The Talk with something along the lines of ‘I trust you to make good decisions, Keith, but don’t jump into something you're not ready for.’ Keith was self-aware enough to know he often made hasty decisions, and he knew he also had a tendency to get swept up in his emotions, but last night had really not been a big deal!

He only kissed Lance _one time_ , and spent the rest of the party dancing! Well, no, now that he thought about it, they’d kissed twice, but still. That was hardly grounds for a lecture. People met other people at parties and had exciting nights with them all the time! He didn’t even know if or when they were going to hang out again! He wanted to, of course, but it wasn’t only up to him. Lance had given him his phone number, so it seemed like he was interested in meeting up. Keith wasn’t really sure about the protocol for texting a vampire, though, and didn’t know how to proceed further.

He rested his chin on his hand and stared at the orange juice in front of him. Shiro's lecture faded into the background as his mind drifted back to last night's party.

* * *

The music thudded through him, even through his memories. He had a hard time distinguishing his own heartbeat from the deep bass in the air. Lance casually slung his arm around his waist whenever they danced. He shivered when he recalled the cold of Lance’s hands on his own. After their talk under the lamppost, Lance didn’t leave his side for other conversations, although he had a habit of winking at anyone he met eyes with. Or maybe the fog was just irritating his eyes. Keith's heavy boots were starting to make his feet ache, but he ignored it.

About ten minutes after he and Lance re-entered the party, Shiro let him throw his coat in the trunk of his car, which was great, because Keith was pretty tired of holding it. He wasn’t going to put it back on after tossing it on the ground. Besides, he didn’t feel like looking stuffy again. Pidge later bet him ten bucks he wouldn’t wear Lance’s cape on the dance floor: he did, of course. Immediately, much to Lance’s delight. Who did Pidge think they were talking to? A guy who turned down dares? Thinking back on it, Keith realized he probably got played. He made a mental note to check Pidge’s Instagram later for any blackmail material they might have uploaded. They were very good at sneaking, and Keith had no idea what kinds of cameras they’d stashed in their Tron helmet.

The music on the floor was loud, but that made it easier to blame his pounding heartbeat on the drums, and the way they vibrated every cell in his body. He could easily lose himself in it when Lance challenged him to a dance off. He blamed the music for the way the space between their bodies disappeared as they moved. It made a good excuse for how loudly he laughed after it was over, practically tangled up in Lance’s limbs.

He wasn’t sure who won, since the judges were also the contestants. On terms of who felt cooler post-dance off, though, Keith was sure he was the winner. He was practically over the moon, having pulled Lance against him at the last moment, much to the taller man’s surprise.

“I’m gonna kiss you.” He made what he hoped was an alluring face. It was a little difficult considering he was sort of out of breath. And a little sweaty.

“What??” Lance’s jaw dropped. Keith couldn’t help but feel a smug satisfaction for managing to get him flustered this time. Supernatural charms be damned, Keith was clearly the cooler one right now. “Right here?” He put up such a suave front earlier, but it was so, so easy for Keith to pull it down. Oh yeah, he could definitely get used to this.

Keith smirked. “Yeah, why not? You scared?” His breathing had calmed down, but his heartbeat was far from slowing.

He watched Lance’s face display the emotions he was working through in real time; surprise, shyness, indignance, then a sort of blustering pride. “You wish!” He smiled wide, his long, pointed teeth catching the light for a moment. “Lay it on me, Dracula.”

Keith had to ignore the jab at his costume, or else it would break the mood. He grasped the front of Lance’s shirt and tugged, pulling Lance’s face down a few inches to meet him. There was the cool feeling against his lips again. Keith closed his eyes and let himself enjoy this one, his grip lessening. It wasn’t often that he got to kiss handsome strangers, after all, and even less often that those strangers were _vampires_. That last part was undeniably cool.

Lance relaxed against him just like he had outside, threading his fingers through Keith’s hair. His ponytail probably looked a mess by now, between the dancing and Lance’s penchant for touching his hair. It was a necessary casualty. Keith didn’t mind in the least. He considered just taking it out altogether once the kissing was over.

Lance sucked on Keith’s bottom lip and a thrill went straight down his spine. He couldn’t help the breathy sound he made at that moment, though he hoped it was too soft for Lance to notice. At least he remembered to keep his tongue in his own damn mouth this time. They did not need a repeat of last time ruining what was shaping up to be a pretty awesome kiss. That, and maybe actually drinking someone’s blood in the middle of the dance floor was a bit too conspicuous to be safe.

Keith ran his hands down Lance’s sides, and felt Lance smile against his lips. It was so, so tempting to go for an ass grab, but Keith didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. Instead, he slipped his thumbs under the hem of Lance’s shirt, just enough to barely feel his smooth skin. The cold feeling struck him, and he couldn’t suppress a shiver.

When he paused for breath, he took a second to notice that Lance really wasn’t breathing, just like he claimed earlier. That was a little weird, but to be expected when kissing an undead monster. This thought barely had time to cross his mind before Lance’s lips were on his again. That didn’t count as a whole separate kiss, because he immediately picked up where they’d left off. His tongue flicked up to the roof of Keith’s mouth and _damn_ he never knew that felt so good. One spot behind his teeth in particular had him feeling all sorts of ways. He gasped softly, encouraging Lance to continue-

_“Keith?”_

* * *

 

Shiro’s voice cut through the memory. As if he wanted to make sure he got through, Shiro also took the time to set his coffee mug in the sink hard enough to make a loud clang.

Keith jolted up straight and met Shiro’s amused gaze with a sulky glare. “What?” he grumbled. He refused to shrink away, even as his face grew hot. What was Shiro expecting? Of course he was going to think about last night- he had a good time! There was nothing wrong with that!

“I asked if you were planning to see him again,” Shiro prompted gently. He rinsed his mug out in the sink and placed it in the dishwasher. Keith watched his tuft of white hair bob while he moved.

“I told him to text me today.” He turned away and glanced at Shiro from the side.

Keith swore that Shiro’s eyes _lit up_. “So you got his phone number?” Fuck.

Keith frowned and crossed his arms. “Yes?” He hated when Shiro went all mother hen on him. He was an adult, wasn’t he? Adults could kiss and get other adults’ phone numbers without their family making it a big deal, couldn’t they? Why was he like this? Twenty was plenty old enough to have outgrown the need for this, despite some of the choices he made.

Shiro finally seemed to pick up on Keith’s sour mood. Maybe he realized what he interrupted. It seemed so, what with the fond twinkle in his eyes. “Alright, I’ll back off.” He raised his hands in a peaceful gesture, smiling. “I’m just glad to see you moving on after-”

“ _Shiro_ ,” Keith hissed. He narrowed his eyes.

“Okay, I’m done.” Keith squinted at him. “I mean it this time.” Shiro chuckled and patted Keith’s shoulder. The metal was warm through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. Probably from the hot coffee. “I’ve got to head to campus. Call me if you need anything.”

Keith went back to his room as soon as Shiro shut the door behind him. Now that he was awake, he knew there was no way he’d fall back asleep. There was nothing to do aside from continue on with his day. His thoughts inevitably drifted back to the party, even as he began his morning workout.

* * *

 

Pidge pressed Hunk’s phone into his palm. “Now that you two know each other, we’re socially obligated to hang out as a group. Those are the rules.” They nodded in a matter-of-fact way. “So put your number in his phone.”

The three of them were standing on the porch outside of the party. It was getting just a little too loud for Pidge, so Hunk suggested a little break with fresh air. Even though Keith wasn't the one who complained, he appreciated the gesture all the same. Lance was gone, having left for a bite a few minutes prior.

Hunk jumped, frantically checking his pockets. “Hey, how did you get that?”

“I dunno, Hunk, how did you get into my backpack and read my diary last week??” Pidge shot back.

“Okay, hey.” Hunk held up his hands in a calming gesture. “In my defense, I was trying to come up with a good birthday present for you! Aaaand it was worth it, so I’d do it again.”

They continued to bicker as Keith tapped his number into Hunk’s phone. Lance got his number right before he ducked out again. Keith didn’t follow him this time, now that he knew exactly where Lance was trying to go.

Despite having kissed the guy twice, and having Lance swallow a mouthful of his blood already, Keith was not really interested in being around Lance when he went hu- out to eat. At the very best, it would be kind of a mood killer, and at the worst he’d freak out. Maybe he was being stupid, but Keith wanted to give himself a little longer than one evening to decide how he felt about things, and a scene like that sounded way too intense.

“You okay, man?” Hunk asked, concerned. “You were looking sorta scary just now.” He took his phone back from Keith and sent him a quick text for his number. Keith’s phone was in his coat, so he’d add Hunk later.

“That’s just his face.” Pidge piped up with a grin. They weren’t wrong, really. He couldn’t argue, so he just shrugged. Hunk nodded, accepting this information without a fuss.

After a moment’s pause, they moved on with the conversation. “Since everyone is done with class by four on Monday, I propose we hang out at the library afterwards,” Pidge chirped, pulling up everyone's schedules on their phone.

Keith raised an eyebrow. “The library?” That was about the nerdiest place to hang out ever.

“Yes, Keith, the cafe there gives me discounts on espresso shots, so the library is the only answer.” Pidge always talked like they were prepared for anything Keith might say. That was probably pretty accurate, actually. They gave him a look that seemed to tell him to stop being a baby. It’s not like he was going to burn up if he tried to step foot inside a library, or something.

“Also, their coffee to whipped cream ratio is the best on campus,” Hunk added. “We’ve done some pretty extensive testing.” He and Pidge shared a grin before Hunk pulled out a goddamn _chart_ out of some invisible pocket in his costume. How was everyone managing to carry around impossible objects while wearing spandex?? Keith had only barely managed to fit his wallet in his pants, and he made sure to sew pockets in them!

He stopped his train of thought, realizing he was going to get worked up about pockets, of all things. In the middle of a Halloween party, no less.

“Hey, buddy, I was starting to think you got eaten!” Hunk waved, his face lighting up.

Keith heard a laugh beside him and turned to see Lance. Keith didn't even notice the door open. Did he just get here? He didn’t look like he’d just pushed his way through a crowd. “I wasn’t gone that long, was I?” He grinned at Hunk, then met Keith’s eyes for a moment. Keith could hardly tell in the weird glow from Pidge’s costume, but he swore Lance looked healthier than he had earlier. Maybe he was just seeing things? But then again, when Lance patted him on the shoulder in hello, his hand was undeniably warm. Or at least, not so cold that he noticed.

“No, but it felt like it,” Hunk answered with a sigh. “We were just talking about hanging out next week.”

“Oh, sweet! I’m totally down. When and where?” His teeth caught the light as he spoke. It made the fangs a little more obvious, especially now that they weren’t covered in dull plastic.

It dawned on Keith that Lance had never seen retractable fangs before because he couldn’t hide his like that. This whole time, Keith was operating under the false idea that vampires naturally had retractable fangs so they could more easily blend in with humans. He’d spent _hours_ going through shitty youtube video reviews of different brands of fangs to find the ‘most realistic looking’ pair out there, and he’d been _dead wrong_ . The worst part is that they weren’t even source accurate! Louis’ fangs in the movies were different lengths in different scenes, but they were never  _completely gone_! He had deviated from the fangs used in the movie because the retractable sets seemed so obviously better, and he _fucked up_. He almost kicked himself right there.

That was clearly the most disturbing revelation of the evening.

“Monday afternoon at the library.” Pidge answered Lance’s question stiffly while Keith was still thinking about teeth. Upon Lance’s return they buried their face in their phone screen, looking a little uncomfortable. “Not for long, though. I have a meeting at six.”

Lance’s fangs were long enough that Keith wondered how he talked around them so effortlessly. Maybe he just got a lot of practice. He did talk a whole lot. Now that he was studying them, he could see that his lateral incisors were also sharp. No wonder he’d cut his tongue up so bad earlier. He was basically shoving it into a field of knives.

Hunk fidgeted a little, looking at Lance apologetically. He’d somehow stashed the coffee chart away, and Keith totally missed it, still thinking about teeth. He was doomed to never understand how it worked.

Lance groaned and slumped forward. “Damn, I’m not free until like…” He looked contemplative for a moment. “Six thirty? Next time though, for sure.”

Keith could bet money on the fact that the sun didn’t set until six thirty on Monday. He also bet that Lance would be available earlier and earlier in the day as they approached the height of winter.

Lance glanced at him and smiled again. “What about you, Lestat? How late are you free on Monday?”

Keith could definitely see a new glimmer in his eyes, even through the contacts. The effects of drinking were that quick, apparently. Had someone just been hurt? His stomach twisted almost painfully, and he dropped his gaze to the floor for a moment.

* * *

That same twisting feeling brought him back to the present. He hadn’t gotten any answers out of Lance the rest of the night. All he knew is that “nothing bad happened” in the year since he turned. What was the definition of bad in this situation, though?

Keith finished his pushups and stood up. Aside from a few weird things, Lance seemed so _human_ all night. It was nothing like the spooky monsters from horror stories, or the elegant creatures in more recent fiction. He made dumb jokes and came on too strong. He was a little gangly and didn’t look particularly beefy. It didn’t seem like he had it in him to hurt anyone. Not really. Then again, didn’t Lance sort of admit that he wasn’t the only vampire in the area when he described how he’d been attacked?

Maybe he should go for a morning run, Keith decided. He grabbed his phone and read the text Hunk sent him last night.

 _hey Keith! its me Hunk. :)  
_ _im stoked your talk with Lance went well and both of you came back in one piece. ngl I was a little afraid youd hurt him. or freak out. one of the two. sorry! anyway, cant wait to hang out with you more, dude._

He was worried he’d hurt Lance? Not the other way around? Keith didn’t know whether to be offended or relieved. He settled for a comfortable mix of both. Unsure of how to respond, he just sent back “thanks” and tossed the phone away. It bounced a little when it hit his mattress.

His eyes drifted towards his closet. More specifically, the small chest of drawers towards the back. It hadn’t been opened in years, not since before he graduated high school. Since he started actually being halfway sufficient at self-defense, really. He stepped towards the chest and opened the top drawer. There it was, exactly where he left it.

The knife was smaller than he remembered, but sharp. Keith picked it up and drew it from its sheath. Maybe he would need something like this again. The hilt fit comfortably in his grip. Could vampires even be hurt with an ordinary knife? He sheathed it and set it back down, reminding himself that he wasn’t in danger. Shiro would be disappointed in him if he started carrying it again. Then again, if vampires were real, what kinds of other monsters could be out there? It was kind of a big fucking deal. A big, knife-appropriate, kind of deal.

It would be irresponsible not to try and protect himself, wouldn’t it? He eyed the holster sitting innocently in the drawer. The scene Lance described last night flashed behind his eyes again. One moment, he and Hunk were going out on the town, and the next…

Keith grabbed the holster and knife, then turned and slipped out of the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no one is ever going to refer to Keith's costume correctly, and that's the rule
> 
> If you haven't read the first part, I promise it'll make more sense if you do!
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated. Let me know what you think abt what you read!! Even criticism is a good motivator for me. :)
> 
> my twitter- [@catsnore](https://twitter.com/catsnore)  
> my tumblr- [space-partners](http://space-partners.tumblr.com/)


	2. Don't Trust These Beans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith starts making a list, and Lance carries around way, way too much spinach.

The worst part about Halloween parties was that they marked the end of Keith’s favorite holiday. Nothing else got him quite as excited, probably because there weren't any other major holidays that included dressing up in costume. The others just meant dressing up. Not his thing. He hated seeing the decorations change, and especially hated the trend of stores playing Christmas music _in November, for some reason_.

But whatever.

After he returned from his run, he showered and bundled himself into a heap of blankets. Midterms be damned, he had important work to do.

He knew the internet would be completely unhelpful for his purposes, so he set about compiling everything he knew so far about vampires in a notebook. Sunlight through the blinds cast an intense ray of light across the page as he clicked his pen and began scribbling.

Admittedly, it wasn’t much. So far, his list consisted of the word ‘REAL’ in huge letters, with a couple circles scribbled around it. He switched to a red pen for the circles. They popped better.

He had to start somewhere.

The only concrete characteristics were drinking blood, not breathing, and cold to the touch. He added those to the paper, with arrows pointing straight at them. Of course, he made sure to leave space around the words in case he needed to add details later. Lance and Hunk both hinted that he couldn’t go out during the day, but the topic had been approached so casually that Keith couldn’t be sure if Lance actually avoided it or not. Adding ‘SUNLIGHT??’ seemed like a safe bet. He added some more circles for good measure.

Now he was going places.

 

His phone buzzed loudly by his head, startling him awake with a jolt. He hadn’t even realized he was sleeping. Papers full of scribbled out words and phrases covered the floor and couch. A paper plate with the remainder of his lunch sat on the cushions to his left. Keith groaned when his phone went off again. Fumbling for a second, he managed to answer before the line went dead. “Hello?”

It was Shiro. “You answered this time. Good.” Keith could hear the warmth in his voice. Shiro was always warm.

“You called earlier?” Keith grumbled, yawning.

“Only once.” Shiro laughed.

Keith sat up and stretched, only narrowly avoiding dropping a pen on his face. How did that get there? “You don’t need to keep checking up on me, you know.” What time was it? He pulled the phone away from his face for a moment to check the time. Almost 7pm already? How long had he been asleep?

Shiro laughed again. It sounded like he was making fun of him. Keith narrowed his eyes, though he knew Shiro couldn’t see his expression. “I was actually calling for a favor, Keith. I was going to pick up groceries for dinner, but I’ll be here for a while still.”

Keith could feel a pit growing in his stomach as Shiro continued.

“Now, I know how you feel about cooking, so I won’t ask you to do that.”

Oh, thank god. Keith let out a relieved sigh. His relationship with cooking could be described in many terms, and none of them were good. His proudest moments included trying to microwave an egg and having it explode all over his hands, catching macaroni and cheese on fire while the water was boiling, and burning cookies so badly that, when one slipped off the sheet, it shattered upon hitting the floor. Though in his defense, no one told him the cookies would _keep hardening_ after he took them out of the oven. He was better at things like sandwiches and pre-mixed salad.

“I just need you to get a frozen pizza and turn on the oven after you get back. Think you can handle it?” Shiro asked, lightly teasing him.

It always felt like Shiro’s small questions held the weight of the world inside them. “Yeah,” Keith mumbled. He stood up, kicking the pen under the coffee table as he did so. He almost tripped over a crumpled up vampire theory. It was probably good for him to get out of the apartment again today. All he had to do was find some shoes. Maybe a jacket.

“Thanks. I’ll be home soon enough. We’re just going over our symposium presentation a few more times.”

Keith held the phone between his cheek and shoulder while he pulled his boots on. “That’s fine. Take as much time as you need.” He stuffed his wallet and keys in his pants pocket without stumbling, then checked to make sure his knife was still behind his back.

“I’ll see you when I get home. Take care, Keith.”

“You too.” He hung up the phone and slipped it into his jacket. As an afterthought, he pulled on a knit cap before hurrying outside. He briefly remembered the time in high school when Pidge explained to him that you were supposed to tie the strings together. He wore it like that for almost a week, until Shiro couldn’t take it anymore and told him he’d been punked. Pidge was always doing that, and Keith was always falling for it.

 

After a disastrous first semester in the dorms last fall, Keith was short a place to stay. Shiro, in his never ending grace, offered him the spare bedroom in his apartment, saying he was keeping it open for a reason such as this. It wasn’t the first time Shiro had saved him, though it was the most dramatic instance. The saving was usually much smaller, such as inviting to drive him to school when he and his foster parents moved in next door, or encouraging him to try being a stagehand for the theater club his junior year. Things that would have been condescending coming from anyone else. From Shiro, though, the gestures were sincere and made Keith feel like he was important. Shiro had that effect on people.

So he really didn’t mind picking up dinner.

 

Too bad he didn’t bring a scarf, he thought as his breath dissipated in front of him. The temperature had dropped pretty drastically after the sun went down. It might be cold enough to snow, which was strange considering how warm it had been during his morning run. It should be expected, though. November was supposed to be cold, and he needed to adequately prepare next time.

The warm grocery store air almost blew his bangs back as he stepped inside. He breathed a sigh of relief at the sensation, then psyched himself up for the inevitable dealings with the public he was about to endure. The local grocery store was sort of a haven for really pushy people. The aisles were cramped and even though the store was full to bursting with fluorescent lights, it was dark at all hours of the day. Every conversation echoed ominously, leading most people to speak in either hushed whispers or outright yells.

A quick glance told him the store was almost empty, which seemed strange to him on a Sunday evening. He definitely wasn’t complaining. He could almost feel the tension drain from his shoulders. Maybe the trip would end up being quick and painless. He needed to go quick, before the moment ended and the masses swarmed again. Keith shoved his hands in his pockets and marched towards the frozen foods section.

He stood in front of the frozen pizzas for a moment, breath misting the glass. Admittedly, he wasn’t the biggest fan, but he wasn’t about to get something that required more effort or aptitude. It was puzzling to him how many different kinds of pizza could all look so unappetizing at once.

“Keith?”

The sound came from the end of the aisle. He jumped, spinning around wildly. No one had ever tried talking to him while he was running errands before, but the voice was undeniably familiar. His gaze landed on a certain tall, gangly figure making its way towards him.

Why was Lance at the grocery store?

Keith’s jaw dropped. “Lance?” He looked him up and down, and was surprised at how _normal_ he looked without his costume. “What are you doing here?”

Lance was wearing fitted jeans and a peacoat, along with an oversized scarf and a matching pair of gloves. To top it off, a pair of large sunglasses covered the upper half of his face. … Sunglasses? At nighttime? Were the fluorescents too bright for him? It was a stark contrast to the glittery costume from the night before. The man looked like he actually knew how to dress himself.  Of course, Keith _objectively_ knew that Lance couldn’t possibly wear that FREE SUCC shirt everywhere, but still.

Lance scoffed at Keith’s question and looked down at the vegetables in his arms. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m grocery shopping, genius.”

Keith finally looked away from his face long enough to notice the absurd amount of spinach Lance was holding. There is no way he needed that much. What did people even use spinach for? What use could _a vampire, specifically,_ possibly have for vegetables? Keith narrowed his eyes, frowning while trying to digest the information. “But… why? Can you even eat this stuff?”

Lance laughed. “Of course not,” he said like it should be obvious. To be fair, Keith knew the question was a little silly. Why would he drink blood if he had an alternative? “Buuuut Hunk is too busy tinkering on his projects to properly shop, and he says it makes way more sense to send me out cause I’m faster. Also, I’m an amazing roommate.” He grinned and looked into the freezer. “Why am I not surprised to see you’re buying junk food?” He tipped his sunglasses down to peer at Keith over his frames. Keith noticed with a shiver that his irises were a deep scarlet. He stared silently for a moment, realizing that even his pupils were off-putting. They were pointed, like a cat’s. It was a little unsettling, now that he was getting the full force of Lance’s gaze. No wonder he was wearing contacts at the party. And then they were gone, Lance pulling the shades back up with a short laugh.

Keith bristled at his accusation, feeling his cheeks grow warm. He turned away, hoping maybe he’d find a good rebuttal inside the freezer. His eyes landed on the word TOMBSTONE, spread in big letters across the face of a pepperoni pizza. That was incredibly unhelpful. He drew a breath and looked towards Lance in the glass. Or at least, he looked at where Lance would be on the surface of the freezer door. It was noticeably absent from its natural spot in front of Keith’s reflection.

Oh.

He had something else to add to his list.

“Uh, hello? Earth to Keith? Come in, Houston.” Lance leaned towards him, looking annoyed that Keith had possibly ignored his question.

Keith actually ignored the fact that Lance couldn’t possibly be Earth if Keith was Houston. Why would Houston be anywhere but on Earth? Ridiculous. “Oh.” He shook himself a bit to try and focus again. “Shiro asked me to pick up pizza before he gets back home.”

“Ohhhhhh.” Lance drew out the word and nodded slowly. “Really? I never pegged Shiro as a frozen pizza kinda guy. I thought he’d be more into. I dunno.” He looked thoughtful and tapped his chin with a finger. Now that his face was properly washed, Keith could tell how smooth his skin was. “Expensive health foods.”

It was true. Keith didn’t bother trying to hide the smile on his face. “Oh, he is.” Keith usually chose to eat well if he could, but god he hated cooking, and healthy food required a lot of that.

Lance puffed out his chest, proud of himself for being right. “Hunk is too. He wanted me to grab all this while it was still on sale.” He sniffed one of the spinach leaves and made a face. “I never liked spinach. This smells like feet.”

Really? Keith leaned forward and tried smelling it. “Seems fine to me.” Did he really just smell leaves? He had no idea what fresh spinach was supposed to smell like. How was he possibly supposed to help?

“It’s probably just me. I forget what it used to smell like,” Lance said dismissively. He was still smiling. “Or maybe it smells the same as always and my nose just tells me it’s bad now. Who knows?”

Keith wanted to ask if he really was so casual about all this. Was it really not a big deal to him? It’s true that he’d had over a year to process everything, but… Keith wondered if a year would be long enough if it were him. His question died in his throat when Lance asked, “So are you in a hurry, or would you be up for hanging out while I finish my list?”

He fished around in his pocket before producing a crumpled piece of paper. He presented it to Keith with an excited look on his face. Keith took it, but didn’t really look at it before nodding. He blamed Lance’s face for being cute.

And also himself for being weak to it.

“Awesome!” Lance cheered. “It’s not the funnest thing in the world, but you know. Misery loves company.” He batted his eyes in an attempt to look cute.

It worked. Keith glanced at his phone for the time. He had plenty of time until Shiro got home, probably. “Sure, why not?” He felt a smile tug on the corners of his mouth.

 

It really was an ungodly amount of spinach, he thought as he watched Lance try to juggle it with his other shopping bags. He was stuffing spam into his third reusable shopping bag and Keith wondered if Hunk really was much of a health nut. To be fair, the bags were mostly full of various health foods Keith barely recognized. None of it looked particularly appetizing.

Maybe he should start paying more attention to this stuff. He couldn’t bum off Shiro forever, regardless of what his brother told him. He picked up a bag of dried beans and inspected them vigorously. Didn’t these things come with instructions? The beans rattled against each other softly within the confines of the bag.

He glanced up to see Lance watching him with one eyebrow raised. “What are you doing?”

“I’m looking for the directions.” Wasn’t it obvious? Keith rotated the bag again. Still nothing. How did people know what to do with these? Oh good, a nutrition facts list. Ingredients: pinto beans. Great.

“Keith.” Lance’s voice sounded odd.

He looked back up. Lance was biting his lower lip in an attempt to keep from laughing. “There aren’t gonna be instructions on a bag of beans. Look online for recipes, dude.”

Keith frowned and squinted at the bag. Maybe if he looked harder, he’d find something. That’s when he saw it. “There it is. Step one, soak beans in-”

“What? No no no, that can’t be right.” Lance snatched the bag away from him, appalled. “What kind of quack tells people to _soak_ their _beans_ \- Holy shit, you’re right.” He shook them, as if the text on the bag would change afterwards. “Keith, don’t listen to these beans.”

“Uh, ok?”

“I will call my mom and have her send me her bean recipe. You can trust her. These are garbage.” Lance tossed the bag back onto the shelf and began trotting down the aisle. “She made the best beans. They took all damn day, but they were worth it.” He sounded wistful.

Keith watched him move. “How am I supposed to cook beans all day?” He took a few steps to catch up to him.

Lance shrugged and turned back to look at him. “I dunno. I never got the hang of cooking. I couldn’t focus on it.”

Keith nodded. He knew what that was like, painfully. “Two weeks ago I tried making spaghetti while Shiro was out. I got distracted working on a project.” The project had, in fact, been his Halloween costume, but Keith wasn’t about to mention that. Not after he messed up the fangs so bad. No, project was much more vague, and official-sounding enough to sound like it was for school. “And all the water boiled out of the pot with the noodles still inside.”

Lance was watching him, crimson eyes wide. It struck Keith as a little odd. Refusing to stop the story without finishing, he continued. “They burned like shit and sort of?” He looked up, as if the word he was searching for would be painted across the ceiling. “Cemented? Themselves to the bottom.”

A devilish grin began to spread across Lance’s face. “How do you even fuck up that bad?”

Keith tried not to get defensive, really. “I dunno! Cooking is boring!”

Okay, so he failed at not getting defensive. Luckily, Lance took it well, and when he laughed it sounded soft. Almost fond. “Yeah, it was the worst! I hated it.” He tossed a bag of rice into his bag.

Something about the conversation seemed almost unbearably sad to him, but Keith couldn’t put a finger on it. Lance certainly seemed happy enough when he asked, “Did you manage to save the pot?”

Keith snorted. “Hell no. Shiro made me throw it out after I cut myself trying to get it all out.”

“You cut yourself on burned noodles?” Lance looked skeptical.

“No, I was using a knife.” Obviously. Did he really think he was that stupid? Keith stared at him, looking for answers in his face.

Lance laughed again. “See, I would’ve just said ‘fuck it’ and tossed it, like, immediately.”

Keith started to protest, but stopped himself. It wasn’t his to throw away, not really. He wasn’t supposed to barge into Shiro’s house, wreck his stuff and get rid of it like it was no big deal. That wasn’t really his right, was it? “Well, I didn’t,” he replied more stiffly than he would’ve liked. He didn't expect Lance to understand.

When he looked up, Lance was making the same odd expression as before. Keith couldn’t figure it out, even as he stared at the other man. Apparently his puzzled expression was embarrassing enough for Lance to bury his face in the spinach in an attempt to hide. Either that, or people watching him made him shy.

Keith laughed softly and looked at the bag of beans again. Maybe he could figure something out? He was sure Shiro would have a use for them. His internal debate was cut short by an awkward squawk from Lance.

He was standing a few steps away, furiously digging through the spinach. His brows were furrowed and his mouth pulled thin with tension. “Shit, shit shit shit,” Lance hissed. Keith watched as he pulled out a handful of withered leaves that he swore hadn’t been there before. Lance glanced up and met Keith’s confused look. “I’m not supposed to touch fresh food,” he explained apologetically, gesturing to his face. “No fingerless gloves for me. Not that I’d wear them anyway,” he added. He shot a pointed look at the very gloves Keith was wearing at that moment.

Keith watched as the dead leaves crumbled into dust in Lance’s palm.

Holy shit.

There was that twisting feeling in Keith’s stomach again. He pushed it away. “I can carry them then.” He held out his hands and ignored the way his heart fluttered when Lance’s expression brightened.

 

Somehow, even after picking a bunch out, there was _still_ an ungodly amount of spinach. Lance vowed he would still pay for whatever had died, and Keith believed him. His voice seemed to have withered along with the leaves, though, and he deigned to let Lance fill the silence as he finished off his list.

“Alright, I think that’s it!” Lance scanned the list for the fifth time, then made a face. “Oh yeah, he can get the fish himself. That shit _smells_.” He grimaced. The list was shoved unceremoniously into his pocket. “Did you need anything else, Keith? I can carry the heavy stuff for you.” His grin turned a little smug.

Was he making fun of him? Keith frowned. “That’s rich, coming from a guy who had me hold his vegetables.” Super vampire strength or not, he didn’t need help carrying anything. He was managing just fine, thanks.

“You offered!” Lance looked offended, though Keith was almost sure he was playing it up. The smile on his face gave it away.

The dried up spinach leaves flashed through Keith’s mind again. It had all happened so _fast_. “Yeah, so you wouldn’t keep killing stuff!” Keith hissed, making sure to keep his voice down.

Lance visibly flinched at that. Keith felt a pang in his chest, but didn’t have time to say anything before Lance blustered on. “And I appreciate that, so I was offering something nice in return! Sheesh.” He turned and stomped a few feet away.

Keith immediately regretted his short outburst. Maybe he needed to admit to himself that watching something shrivel up and disintegrate in front of him was a little creepy. But he wouldn’t, because a couple of leaves was really not a big deal, and he needed to get over it.

“Right…” He sighed. The faint buzzing of the lights seemed loud all of a sudden. He stared down at the vegetables he was carrying. Some of the leaves were still dusty. “I don’t need anything else. He just asked for pizza.” Keith had to force his voice out smoothly.

“Alright.” Lance still wasn't looking at him.

A beat of silence passed between them. Lance began to walk towards the checkout.

“Lance, wait.” Keith trotted after him, almost losing a bundle of spinach in the process. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve-”

“It’s fine, man, really.” Lance turned to him, smiling again. His teeth were so _white_ against his dark skin. “I was sorta expecting you to freak out a little, I mean, after you were so chill about it last night.” There was a heaviness in his shoulders that he attempted to shrug off. “Even Hunk gets scared sometimes, and I think that guy’s an angel, legit.” Keith highly doubted that Hunk’s version of getting scared was anything like his own. It was probably much nicer, less venomous. “It happens.”

The gears in Keith’s head were having a hard time turning. Lance continued speaking.

“I can’t blame you, but I still want to hang out. It’s gonna take more than that to get rid of me,” he added, pulling down his shades for a halfhearted wink.  

Okay, that was quite enough. “Can you let me apologize before you say you deserve people snapping at you?” Keith snapped. Lance froze in his tracks. “Yeah, I don’t have any experience with any of this-” He gestured in Lance’s general direction, a soft _plop_ from a spinach bundle accenting the motion. “This... stuff, but that doesn’t mean I get a free pass to be an asshole! Especially cause I _do_ like you! You should expect me to be _nice_ , or something! Right??” What kind of person says they can’t blame the dude they made out with yesterday for snapping at them over something insignificant?

More importantly, how was that person the same guy who flirted like his attention was some gift to anyone he laid eyes on? Keith was having a hard time fitting all the parts together.

Lance looked honestly stunned for a moment, his mouth agape. He stared at Keith, unblinking, long enough that Keith began to shift uncomfortably.

“What?” he grumbled. He stared at the spinach on the floor. Maybe he could sort of wiggle his foot underneath it and flip it up… He made an attempt, but succeeded only in dropping another bundle. Okay, that was not going to work. Boots were not good for wiggling.

Lance laughed so genuinely at that moment that Keith looked up at his face. “Nothing, you’re just right. And really blunt. You don’t pull any punches do you?”

People had said many different things about Keith throughout his life, but they all agreed on the fact that no, he did not pull punches. Usually the sentiment wasn’t meant as a compliment, though. “No, not really.”

Lance laughed again and picked the fallen vegetables off the ground. “Okay then, no more free passes to be an asshole.” He inspected the bundle with a frown. “You think this stuff will be okay if Hunk washes it off before he eats it?”

Keith pursed his lips in thought. “Probably.”

 

They were parting ways at the entrance when Lance finally asked, “So, how busy are you on Thursday?” with a hopeful grin on his face.

Keith pulled his ear flaps down firmly in an excuse to look busy while he processed the question. “I’m usually in the theater until late.” His breath misted in front of his face. It was so damn cold outside.

Lanced huffed, “What about Friday? Don’t tell me you do theater techie stuff all weekend?” He looked like a child, pouting like that.

Well, if he didn’t want him to say it, then Keith would just remain silent. He shrugged. “I can make time on Friday, most likely.”

“Awesome.” Lance’s teeth gleamed in the light of the streetlamp when he smiled. Keith’s heart skipped a beat. “Friday it is, then! I’m gonna blow your mind, Keith. Watch out!”

 

Keith was still smiling to himself when he unlocked the apartment door. He noted with a fair amount of surprise that the lights were still on. Oh great, had he forgotten to turn them off before he left?

“Welcome back.”

Keith jumped at the noise and almost dropped the pizza. “You’re home already?”

Shiro was standing over the stove. Oh shit, he was making food. “I texted you,” Keith’s hand flew to his pocket. “But I trusted you’d be back soon enough.”

“Not soon enough for pizza, though?” Keith asked wryly, holding up a pizza that was surely thawed by now. He tossed it on the counter.

Shiro smiled and turned back to the stove. “I decided against it.”

Keith put it in the freezer and checked his phone. Sure enough, one missed text from Shiro. He glanced at it and felt his face heat up.

_Got home earlier than expected. Don’t worry about hurrying home, I’ll make something for when you get back. Have a good time with Lance. -Shiro_

Why did he always text like a grandfather. “How did you know I met Lance at the grocery store??” His face felt like it was on fire. Now seemed like a good time to make himself busy, so he made a show of untying his boots slowly. Anything for an excuse not to look at him.

“Oh, he told me,” Shiro answered. He continued to stir whatever it was he was cooking.

His fingers fumbled with his shoelaces. “How??”

“I put my number on the syllabus.” Shiro’s back was turned so he couldn’t be sure, but Keith had a feeling he was trying to hide a smile from him. “To be more accessible.”

Keith pulled off his hat and groaned. He could only imagine how _that_ worked out. His mind flashed back to eighth grade, when his classmates would beg him for Shiro’s phone number after seeing who dropped him off. And then again, if he would mention Shiro in passing on campus, he’d get the exact same reaction. It was bizarre. Well, not objectively. He knew Shiro looked and acted like some kind of superhero, but to Keith he was so much of a mom slash brother figure that he couldn’t imagine thinking of him in any other context.

He knew it was common for professors and teachers aides to give out their phone numbers, but god damn it Shiro, that was giving the public too much power. Be a little less trusting sometimes.

“Did you have a good time?” Shiro prompted gently. He glanced over his shoulder towards him.

Keith finished taking off his boots and sat down at the kitchen island. The knife hilt pressed into his back under his jacket. “We just walked around while he grabbed groceries.” It’s not like they were doing something particularly fun. Nevertheless, Keith could grudgingly admit to himself that aside from the small argument, he _did_ have a good time. A really good time, actually.

Lance was witty and not afraid to look like a goofball for the sake of a joke. He laughed effortlessly, in a way that was completely foreign to Keith. And sure, he poked fun at his (really cool) fingerless gloves, but he wasn’t downright insulting, or anything. He talked a whole lot, but he also listened. He was interested in whatever Keith had to say, which was a big deal to someone who’d learned most of his life that his words weren’t important.

“Sounds fun.” Shiro was almost certainly aware of Keith’s inner monologue. Maybe he had supernatural powers too. It would explain a lot.

He smiled to himself. “Yeah, I guess it was.” He debated whether he should tell Shiro about the date or not, and finally decided that he should know. “We made plans for Friday too.”

Shiro actually stopped stirring for a second to look at Keith full on. The expression on his face was so _wholesome_ that Keith regretted saying anything at all. “I’m glad. What plans?”

It dawned on him that Lance didn’t give him any indication of where they were going. Just “I’m gonna blow your mind,” which was pretty damn vague. “Uh. Not sure yet.” He pulled out his phone and fiddled with it, debating on whether he should text Lance and ask. “Hold on.”

As it turned out, Lance had already texted him. He really needed to check his phone more often.

 _so theres a carnival on campus starting on friday…… wanna go there?? itll be fun promise!_ _  
_ _i hear theyre making the zeta house into a funhouse! weve gotta gooooo keith!!_

Wait, that couldn’t be right. He held the phone inches from his face and squinted, just to make sure he recognized all the words. “A carnival?”

Shiro turned the heat off the stove, wiped his hands, and walked over. “You mean the fundraiser being put on by greek life this weekend? Allura and I were planning on attending too.”

Keith’s eyebrows shot up. “Allura? You mean your g-”

“My _lab partner_ , yes,” Shiro interrupted.

“The lab partner you were practicing with today? The one I’ve never met?” Now it was Keith’s turn to be the embarrassing brother, instead of the embarrassed one. He didn’t get chances like this very often.

Shiro’s cheeks were turning red already. “Her chapter is running the ki- ah. One of the prize booths.”

Keith nodded slowly. “Well, now I _have_ to go.” Oh, yes. It was so, so satisfying not to be on the receiving end of the crush talk. “She has to pass the test.”

Shiro sighed, “Keith, you’re completely misinterpreting the nature of our relationship.” Keith could see the tension in the corners of his mouth.

“Mmhmm.”

Shiro's face was still beet red when he handed Keith his portion of noodles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I write really romantic scenes, friends.  
> keith: *yells at lance over dead spinach*  
> lance: *sobbing* words can't hurt me these shades are gucci
> 
> I hope it's at least a little entertaining. Next up- the date!  
> Comments are always appreciated, so please let me know what you thought!!
> 
> my tumblr- [space-partners](http://space-partners.tumblr.com)  
> my twitter- @[catsnore](http://twitter.com/catsnore)  
> I'm always up for chatting!


End file.
